By Ross Petras, Kathryn Petras
A connoisseur's compendium of Freudian slips, spoonerisms, double-talk, and utter bosh from famous and notorious figures earlier and current -- a complete direction in anti-eloquence through the foot-in-mouth champions of all time.
Note: a prior variation of this publication was once released in 1993 by means of Doubleday. it's the following reprinted through association with Doubleday.
Read or Download 776 Stupidest Things Ever Said PDF
Best humor books
Enthusiasts of P. G. Wodehouse's comedian genius are legion, and their devotion to his masterful command of the hilarity borders on an obsession.
It's Heavy climate for Lord Emsworth and the Empress, specifically with the appalling Sir Gregory Parsloe-Parsloe snooping round with designs at the prize pig.
An beautiful mixture of humor, bravery, cynicism, and compassion. " --London day-by-day Telegraph
It's the stuff of Grey's Anatomy, apartment, and ER--only those occasions aren't unfolding on a Hollywood soundstage.
Have you ever questioned what's occurring contained in the ambulance screaming earlier you in the course of your rush-hour travel? considering the fact that 2003, Tom Reynolds (writing less than an alias in order to not get sacked from his job), has stored a web publication the place he chronicles the day-in, day-out realities of his existence at the activity as an EMT with the London Ambulance Service.
By turns either poignant and profound, Reynolds's writing captures the very essence of existence and dying. From the mundane to the surreal, from the heartwarming to the cynical, from the calm to the frenetic, greater than three hundred entries from his renowned web publication at randomreality. blogware. com are incorporated within the book.
Dear Mr. Alcoholic:
Would you brain incredibly now not swearing at me, taking a swing at me, or exposing your self to me? i've got really sufficient abuse from the nondrunks available in the market. . . . nonetheless, at the least your fists are effortless to circumvent, and if I cease retaining you up, you fall over.
The author's highly renowned web publication, Random Acts of truth, has been named Medgadget most sensible clinical web publication and most sensible Literary scientific weblog.
L’esprit de l’hiver s’est épris de Tiphaine Patraque. Il lui offre des icebergs, se déclare par des avalanches et l. a. couvre de flocons – témoignages d’amour un peu rudes pour une apprentie sorcière de treize ans, mais qui ne manquent pas de… fraîcheur.
In a hilarious examine actual existence at the comedy circuit, a few of America's most renowned comics percentage their very own tales of existence at the street, gigs long gone mistaken, and unforeseen, zany moments, with contributions via Jay Leno, Jerry Seinfeld, Chris Rock, Mike Myers, invoice Maher, Joan Rivers, Jeff Foxworthy, and others.
- The Teenage Dirtbag Years
- Genius and Heroin: The Illustrated Catalogue of Creativity, Obsession, and Reckless Abandon Through the Ages
- Nine Goblins
- Uncle John's 24-Karat Gold Bathroom Reader
- Carpe Jugulum (Discworld, Book 23) (UK Edition)
Additional resources for 776 Stupidest Things Ever Said
Page 44 As the red fox slowly rose to her feet, Flora froze in place. She stopped pecking about in the grass, and watched as her companion struggled to regain her balance. The gentleman who had trapped the fox looked on in amazement. Though his heart could not understand what he was witnessing, he knew he had to respond. The rancher decided to let the fox stay on his property. He had become fascinated with the friendship developing between the fox and the hen. He tossed a small piece of meat to the fox, who wasted no time accepting his peace offering.
She sat patiently every day as we medicated her. She took the food we offered and all the while, she never growled. She just accepted, watched and waited. When day seven came and there was still no sign of complications with her pups, I started to relax. By day ten, her tummy was beginning to bulge. I was convinced that the babies were safe, but now we had to make a difficult decision. Should we set her free and let her raise her young ones in the wild with no help from us? Or should we keep her, watch as Page 24 the pups are born and be certain she could care for them before we set them all free?
I went back to my car to wait and to hope. An hour passed and the buck lay still in the grass. His soft breath rose out of his nostrils, becoming small gray clouds in the cold morning air. I decided to try once more. Perhaps if he saw me coming towards him he would try to stand. I took three or four steps in his direction. Suddenly, he looked away from me. I could hear the sharp grass crackling under the weight of someone's steps. I stopped. Who could be out here in this cold? Why didn't the buck look alarmed?